You might ask yourself, how am I supposed to take care of myself...
when I don't have the time..... I'm too tired.... does that make me selfish?

NO! The real question is how are you taking care of others if you have nothing in the gas tank?

"Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."

 President Marion G. Romney (Romney, 1982, para. 46)

 Care for Yourself 
 What does it mean to care for yourself? It means that you are in touch with understanding who you are, developing a clear direction, managing the demands of life, and regulating life. This may not directly impact your children, but it creates an opportunity for you to be an example to your children. They see you comfortable in your skin or working towards self improvement. The purpose that you create in your life will directly affect the lives of your family. As we are motivated and show grit we will raise children who are motivated and have grit. When we feel better, we will in turn feel better about our families.  Caring for ourselves helps us develop our personal way of being.

Free Printable 

 Above are simple things that we can do everyday to take just a moment for ourselves. Self care does not have to be involved or take a lot of time. It's just a few moments to think about you and your well-being. Another point to add 💡 taking care of yourself does not mean you can't include your family. Maybe you need fresh air and want to take a walk, load up the stroller and take the kids. The kids and you will thank yourself. Or listen to a favorite playlist and have a dance party with your family. 

The Parenting Pyramid

The Arbinger Compnay developed a pyramid designed to become a more effective parent. The Arbinger Company's taglines is "We Change Mindset, Behavior, and Results." (https://arbinger.com/) 

 

•  At the very top of the pyramid is CORRECT. When we talk about correction, we are not talking about discipline. We can correct our children's behavior without discipline.
• Which leads to TEACHING.  Correction without teaching is not going to result in our desired outcome.
• If we are trying to teach our children we need to look at our PARENT/CHILD RELATIONSHIP.  If our children do not like us are they going to effectively learn from us. Is the teaching going to be an enjoyable experience. 
• The most important relationship is the HUSBAND/WIFE RELATIONSHIP. Our children will see whether we love our spouse. This husband/wife relationship is the first example of a relationship they will see and how our children learn how to develop relationships. This is the central relationship in the family unit.
• The foundation of this parenting pyramid is PERSONAL WAY OF BEING. How I treat the people in my life, how I treat myself, how I react to stress, and so many others aspects make up this layer of the parenting Pyramid. 

 Each aspect of this pyramid is a links back to your "personal way of being." How you treat your spouse effects your relationship with your children and the relationship you have with your children effects the relationship you have with your spouse. Your relationship with your children creates happy, teachable moments. 

Using the Parenting Pyramid

 "An important hint about parenthood follows from this discussion. It is this: The solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that part of the pyramid." (Arbinger Company, 1998)


 

For example if I am teaching my teaching my child and Iam going round in circles, more teaching is not going to help. I need to work on my relationship. First, I need to look at how I am interacting with my child: Am I being short-tempered? or Am I rushing him? Am I connecting. Sometimes it's not the right time or place. Maybe we need to stop and find something fun we can do. Break the ice, find something unexpected. I remember during a particularly stressful time in my family, my dad picked up us kids from school. Which was odd because we always walked, we only lived a block away. Then he surprised us with a trip to see the Lion King in theater. It's a moment with my family that I will never forget. It had an impression and worked to develop connections. Are we doing things with our kids that leave an impression?

 If you would like to learn more information about the Parenting Pyramid from The Arbinger Company you can visit.  Parent Pyramid